Hello all,

How are you doing? Wherever you are right now, with your family or staying alone, I hope you are safe, healthy and have the stock of all the essential items. If you are working for the government and are a part of the community helpers team then a huge thank you to you for showing up for the community right now.

If you are recovering from an illness or have someone in the family who is ill, then I pray that you get the strength be resourceful right now.

In 2008 when the economy was going through the recession phase I was hit by a wave of fear that kept we awake the entire night. My self-talk went on and on-

‘What will happen?

Will I lose my job?

What about the household responsibilities?

What about money?

What about my child?

What about my future?’

And this continuous and un-monitored self-talk triggered the flight or fight response and led to a bio-chemical reaction in my body. The result- heavy feeling in my chest and forehead, unable to breathe, sweaty palms, digestive issues and sleepless nights. This continued till 2013, yes 5 years of psychosomatic illness as I wasn’t aware of ‘Emotional Hygiene’

As children we are taught how to calculate, how to identify the angles of a triangle and lessons in grammar, historical facts and science. However most of us have limited or no knowledge about our brain- how it functions; perceives and processes information.

July 2013, I started walking on this new path of personal development, curious and determined to learn about how my brain processes, how habits are built, importance of beliefs and mindset. As I type this post my heart fills with gratitude towards all my mentors. All the knowledge, strategies and wisdom that I learnt from my mentors is useful to me and my family at this moment.

We all are aware of what’s happening and during such tough times we may feel that we have lost our freedom & sense of control. Many people may experience a sense of fear of the unknown. Many people may have to step away from their businesses or stay at home managing work and family responsibilities. While we cannot change what is happening externally, what we could focus on is to rebuild our inner resourcefulness. As we take time to wash our hands and practice physical hygiene, let us also use this time to work on our mental and emotional hygiene to feel more centered, grounded and aligned.

In today’s post I am sharing some strategies that could help to reduce the intensity of the feelings that you are experiencing and allow you to become more resourceful during this phase. These strategies have helped me when I was going through a tough phase. I hope they are useful.

Reduce

There is so much information floating around through WhatsApp, social media, messages and TV that it may become a little overwhelming. There’s a lot of unverified and misinterpreted information too. So reduce the consumption of news related to what’s happening.

You could restrict WhatsApp messages, quit the groups that keep discussing about what’s happening, unfollow or block accounts that make you uncomfortable.

Instead follow people who are contributing or doing something constructive. Connect with them and figure out ways in which you could do something useful for the community. Ensure that you set your boundaries. Set aside a specific time to watch the news or browse online news portals. Mute notifications to avoid the constant buzzing.

Reflect

Journaling is a powerful and useful tool to reflect. However to make the most of journaling we must ask questions that lead to solutions and actionable plans.  Here are few questions for you-

How am I feeling right now? The main idea is to bring the awareness to the present moment as the future may look uncertain right now for many of us.

I am feeling disconnected

How do I want to feel instead?

I want to feel connected

What’s the one simple and doable action I could do right now to feel that way?

Schedule a call with my friend or family or a therapist

Another way is to reflect on the resources you have right now. Reflect on your finances and how you would want to manage the finances. Figure out ways in which you could put the available resources to optimum utilization.

I am saving fuel by cooking once a day. Also I am using less oil, salt and spices so I could save the stock of supplies for a month.

I am saving water by using limited vessels to cook and do laundry only once a week.

We all work from the same room so we save electricity.

(I used to do this even before the lock down as I am a practicing Minimalist)

One more way to reflect is to sit with the uncomfortable feelings. Observe the emotions disintegrate and dissolve. What are you becoming aware of as you sit with those feelings?

Re-frame

This one is my personal favourite as re-framing allows you to embrace a new frame for the current situation. It is not positive thinking. It is not an affirmation. It is pacing the reality and shifting the way we see the reality to reduce the intensity of the feelings.

A simple re-frame for the current situation could be-

This distancing is not to isolate me but to isolate the virus.

The virus cannot be killed and that’s the reason we’ve to isolate the virus so it disintegrates and decays on its own.

Check your self-talk. What are you telling yourself about this phase?

I am stuck at home.

Being with family is horrible or irritating.

The lock-down is terrible.

You could re-frame this self-talk.

I am safe at home.  I am in a self-awareness retreat. Each one in my family has a different behaviour and I am investing my time to learn more about my family. Use words that create comfort and help you to grow through this phase.

Rewrite

Finally rewrite the entire phase by taking action. Actions are important because they allow us to move either physically or mentally. As i am not conducting any workshops or events and all my speaking engagements stand cancelled, I have more time and I am investing this time in reading, writing and planning.  Yes, I am planning. I am asking myself-What will I do after we get through this? What conscious choices will I make after this is over?

How are you investing this time? Write a new narrative for yourself. Technology is a boon for us at this time, use it constructively. Read blogs and books that uplift your mood and emotional state. Listen to podcasts that offer solutions and resources.

Move, read, write, meditate- (Check out apps like Calm and Headspace), enroll for online courses (Skillshare, Coursera, Udemy, VoxGuru) or if you have a friend or family member who could teach you something, call them and schedule a session.

How could you show up for the community?

How could you add value in someone’s life?

A friend’s society decided to provide meals to the security staff. Think of different ways to reach out and do something. Take action.

I hope these strategies add value to your life. Do try some or all of them. What are some of the strategies that you are using? I am eager to hear from you.

Love & Light,

Gayatri Aptekar

PS: If you are going through any unpleasant emotions like fear or anxiety or anything else and if you would want to talk about it then I am offering a 30-minute complimentary consultation call. Here’s the link to schedule your session. – https://forms.gle/PvpDKyHGRCbjG7E5A