Welcome to my third post in the 7-part Goal-Setting series. Earlier this week, I spoke about seven reasons that’s stopping you from achieving your goals and how your purpose shapes the way you perceive your goals. When we set a goal our first aim is usually to change our actions, behaviors or habits. When my goal was to become fit, I focused on getting up early, going for a walk, eating fruits and avoiding junk. I was successful in following these habits for few days, but later gave up and then felt de-motivated to start again. However after learning the tools to manage my psychology, I understood that, I was focusing on my habits while the real challenge was my ‘belief system’.
The thing about beliefs is that after few years of embracing a belief it actually becomes your reality. For me that’s what had happened. It was time that I reviewed my belief system.
Let’s see the first habit that I was trying to build getting up early. For years I believed that ‘I can’t wake up early in the morning’. To review this belief I had to ask myself certain questions
Belief
‘I can’t wake up early in the morning’
Questions
Really? You can’t?
Have you ever got up early in the morning?
If yes, then how did you manage?
And if you have ever got up early in the morning, then you can get up early, can’t you?
Who told you, that you can’t get up?
According to whom?
Whose belief is this?
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When I asked myself these questions I found that the belief I had embraced was not mine. In fact there was an internal voice that stopped me from waking up early. Every day before I hit the snooze button, I heard a voice in my head, it was dad’s voice telling, “You can’t get up early in the morning.”
Yes that’s the sole reason, I never woke up early.
Growing up I always heard my dad tell my relatives and friends, “Jaya can’t get up early.” and slowly his words became my inner voice. A belief becomes strong when you have enough references to prove that it’s true. For me this one reference from my dad was powerful enough to prove that I’m lazy and can’t get up early in the morning.
Now, to change this limiting belief to an empowering one I had to add new references to support this new belief.
New Belief
‘I can wake up early in the morning, comfortably’
New references:
‘Every time you have to catch a morning flight, you get up early, don’t you?’
‘When you go for a trek or picnic, you get up early, don’t you?’
‘When there’s a function in your daughter’s school or any festival, you get up early, don’t you?’
‘When you have visitors, you get up early to cook, don’t you?’
These new references allowed my brain to internalize this new belief that ‘I can wake up early in the morning, comfortably’
And when this belief shifted, I found that waking up early was so easy and comfortable. Once I started to wake up early, setting new healthy habits became easier and slowly I saw the transformation in my lifestyle.
Today I want you to review your goals and your beliefs connected to your goals. List those beliefs and question each one of them and find the references. Once you’re done with it, write your new beliefs that will take you closer to your goals. Write new references that make your new belief stronger.
Remember the words of Henry Ford “Whether you think you can or you can’t, you’re right”
I’m planning to write more posts on personal development, goal-setting and life transformations, so if my posts are helpful, I’d love to hear from you. Do drop a comment or feel free to email me at gs.aptekar84@gmail.com
Love and Light,
Gayu
You amaze me every single time, Gayu. It’s so true that such small instances make us believe in things which we can actually change easily. My Mathematics teacher at school used to tell me I am useless and hopeless and will not be able to become anything. I believed in her for four years of my life till another teacher changed my perspective towards myself. I can’t thank her enough for helping me believe in myself. I am loving this series. Shared it on the page but was unable to tag you or your page for reasons unknown.
It’s difficult for me and unlike you, it’s my own voice. Yes, I get up early when I have to (I have to because of the kid’s school). I like it when I get up early as the days are more sorted and productive when you wake up early.
Recently, I visited my home town and there I got up early, and eventually developed this habit of getting up early in just 7-10 days. But slowly, I got back to my previous routine. Two reasons I think. One – I don’t get up because I think I don’t need to (like on weekends or school holidays). Two – I have this very old habit of staying up at night. I like the silence and solitude of night. So, it happened that I used to get up early but could sleep on time. Result – feeling dull and cranky. It continues. 🙁