I was just
one month away from my fourth birthday, when I first felt the tender touch of
‘Love’. It was in the form of a hug from my Appa. I was meeting him after four
years. I never knew how it felt to be held so close, where one could hear the
heartbeats of the other person. Then there were so many relatives waiting to
hug me, my Sister, Grandma, Aunt, Uncle and my Cousins. I saw love in their
eyes, which I had missed in the four years. Everyone was so happy to see me;
they showered me with kisses, gifts and blessings. I too was enjoying all the
attention and pampering. At least there were few souls on the earth, who were
happy that I was born as a girl, unlike my Mom,
who wanted for a son.
one month away from my fourth birthday, when I first felt the tender touch of
‘Love’. It was in the form of a hug from my Appa. I was meeting him after four
years. I never knew how it felt to be held so close, where one could hear the
heartbeats of the other person. Then there were so many relatives waiting to
hug me, my Sister, Grandma, Aunt, Uncle and my Cousins. I saw love in their
eyes, which I had missed in the four years. Everyone was so happy to see me;
they showered me with kisses, gifts and blessings. I too was enjoying all the
attention and pampering. At least there were few souls on the earth, who were
happy that I was born as a girl, unlike my Mom,
who wanted for a son.
Amma was indifferent towards me and I always wondered,
what is it that I could do to grab her attention. I would throw tantrums,
behave rudely, give back answers to Appa and do all possible mischief, so that
Amma would notice my presence. But, all my efforts went in vain, until one day,
when Amma found out that I stole 50paisa
from my grandma’s purse to buy chewing gum. She beat me and locked me in the
bathroom for almost four hours. She also put off the lights and said that this
was the punishment for stealing and telling lies. While most children of my age
would have cried, screamed and begged for forgiveness, I didn’t. And that’s
what made Amma, even more furious.
what is it that I could do to grab her attention. I would throw tantrums,
behave rudely, give back answers to Appa and do all possible mischief, so that
Amma would notice my presence. But, all my efforts went in vain, until one day,
when Amma found out that I stole 50paisa
from my grandma’s purse to buy chewing gum. She beat me and locked me in the
bathroom for almost four hours. She also put off the lights and said that this
was the punishment for stealing and telling lies. While most children of my age
would have cried, screamed and begged for forgiveness, I didn’t. And that’s
what made Amma, even more furious.
I was happy,
My little
heart was content,
heart was content,
For it
yearned for a Mother’s touch…
yearned for a Mother’s touch…
So what if,
She shouted
at me,
at me,
She beat
me,
me,
Yet, I love
her…
her…
For,
She touched me,
She spoke to me,
She came near me,
And I heard her call me,
By my
name…..‘Jaya’
name…..‘Jaya’
All I
wanted was a loving look, a caring touch, maybe a hug, a smile, few words of
encouragement from my Mom. Was I
asking for too much as a child? Exactly a year after this incident, my Amma
passed away. I still remember that day; she breathed her last on my laps,
asking for forgiveness. What did a nine year old know about forgiveness? Tears
refused to flow, but my soul cried, for my mom left many questions unanswered.
wanted was a loving look, a caring touch, maybe a hug, a smile, few words of
encouragement from my Mom. Was I
asking for too much as a child? Exactly a year after this incident, my Amma
passed away. I still remember that day; she breathed her last on my laps,
asking for forgiveness. What did a nine year old know about forgiveness? Tears
refused to flow, but my soul cried, for my mom left many questions unanswered.
I am
grateful to her, for she chose to give me birth. She may have had a million
reasons to behave the way she behaved, but I only had one reason to love her, I
was a part of her, I was in her womb for nine months and no matter what she did
or how she treated me, I loved her and still love her!
grateful to her, for she chose to give me birth. She may have had a million
reasons to behave the way she behaved, but I only had one reason to love her, I
was a part of her, I was in her womb for nine months and no matter what she did
or how she treated me, I loved her and still love her!
At times,
people don’t love you the way you want them to, but does that mean they don’t
love you? Does that mean, your heart stops loving them? Maybe you cut off all
the relationships with them, maybe you block them from your social network,
but, deep within, in some corner of your heart, they hold a special place and you
always love them….don’t you?
people don’t love you the way you want them to, but does that mean they don’t
love you? Does that mean, your heart stops loving them? Maybe you cut off all
the relationships with them, maybe you block them from your social network,
but, deep within, in some corner of your heart, they hold a special place and you
always love them….don’t you?
This Valentine’s
day and everyday from now, express
your Love, maybe by sending a message, listening to what they have to say or a
hug with some flowers or some chocolates or perhaps preparing a cup of tea,
cooking their favourite food, downloading their favourite songs or gifting them
a book or… just by being there!
day and everyday from now, express
your Love, maybe by sending a message, listening to what they have to say or a
hug with some flowers or some chocolates or perhaps preparing a cup of tea,
cooking their favourite food, downloading their favourite songs or gifting them
a book or… just by being there!
Don’t wait for a special occasion or a reason.
PS: This
post is a part of the Write Tribe –Language of Love Prompt. A special thanks to
Vishal Bheeroo for this lovely prompt! Do drop by to read some LOVELy takes on the prompt by fellow bloggers!
post is a part of the Write Tribe –Language of Love Prompt. A special thanks to
Vishal Bheeroo for this lovely prompt! Do drop by to read some LOVELy takes on the prompt by fellow bloggers!
I am grateful to her, for she chose to give me birth. She may have had a million reasons to behave the way she behaved, but I only had one reason to love her, I was a part of her, I was in her womb for nine months and no matter what she did or how she treated me, I loved her and still love her!
Gayatri I am greatly touched by the above lines. Felt a bit sad after reading your post but was again amazed at your positivity at looking at things. Keep writing.
The most important lesson that I learnt in life and believe in completely is that Everything happens for a Reason. We may not know what it is at that particular moment, however after few years or months, when we look back, it all seems to make sense 🙂
Thanks for inspiring me always with your encouraging comments. I look forward to them 🙂
Hugs and Love,
Gayu
gosh this is heart wreaking…:(
I hope jaya found peace within!
Yes ruchira, Jays aka Gayu has found peace:-)
Thanks so much for reading this one and also commenting…means a lot to me!!!
This was tough to read – So much emotion and sadness, yet, you find a way to bring the positive from it, and for that, I am grateful.
I am grateful to you Kelly for you could see the positivity hidden in this post. Thanks for your uplifiting comments. God bless
This is heart breaking…! So many emotions in one… Be grateful and value the ones you love, that's the beautiful message you give ! Thanks for sharing
Yes Nabanita, that's just one message of the many, that this post conveys. So many times, we take our relationships for granted. Its time we appreciate people and be grateful to allthat they do for us
Like the way feeling and thoughts get mixed up in this narrative… nicely done.
Thanks Beloo for reading this one and your comments too
You have a beautiful heart, capable of giving love selflessly. You will always find love in life and thanks for giving me love, the mention:)
Happy Valentine Day
http://vishalbheeroo.wordpress.com/2014/02/14/not-just-a-love-story-feel-the-love
Thank you Vishal for the compliments:) means a lot!
This was poignant. People may not love us the way we'd like, but it doesn't mean they don't..especially our parents.
That's the truth! Thank you for reading this one Michelle
Tough read, apt title. Love your positivity.
And I love your comment payal!
It takes a great heart to forgive so greatly. I believe those who face great hardships and sorrow are great souls for only they can learn to endure and forgive. You too are a beautiful and great soul and I'm honoured to know you. Though I feel the sorrow in my heart, I also feel great joy in knowing you. Many blessings to you lovely Gayu. You are an inspiration.
I don't know if I am a great soul, but yes, my ability to forgive people is built up over the years. I don't believe in holding grudges against anyone. Thank you for your blessings Suzy:) You find me as an inspiration, as you too inspire others in your own way!
Touching post.
🙂 The fact that you read and commented, means a lot geeta
All the blogs r very nice..sum r very touchy,sum inspiring.i like it .poems r rocking keep writing n inspiring us gayu…let d music play blog was superb n nameless too..music is powerful medicine for body n soul…
Thanks so much Nisha for reading all the previous posts and leaving me with such wonderful comments!
N hats off to let d reason b love..superb..keep it up..
Thanks again, do keep reading and sharing your views
Gayu,
Just one word.
Hats off !
I've read your post about your chithi before, and your story , in yor blog.
Touching, the way you write.
Positive, the way you view things.
Lovely, yourself !
God Bless you, dear !
And lovely your comments Sreeja. Thank you so so much:) Hugs to you!!!
Just to let you know that I was here – over a year late – but I’m reviewing the entries to make sure that the results of the contest are finally announced. My apologies for the inordinate delay. Keep writing, Gayu.